Poppa Too

After building a wonderful relationship with his daughter, a man tells of how his child was unlawfully abducted by her mother and he is legally unable to do anything. For years he enjoyed joint custody until he returned from a job only to find that mommy packed up and moved far away. Obeying all the orders given by the Judge was to no avail. Much of his documented evidence wasn’t reviewed and seemed to be a waste of time. Orders from five court appearances meant nothing. Local authorities wouldn’t help so he conducted an investigation. After he had proof of where his child was, detectives did not assist. He was forced to accept being helpless and that he would not see his daughter for several years.

When a kidnapping occurs as a result of false accusations or the mishandling of a case, the wrongly accused person becomes the victim. They can remain incapacitated for a long time. Normal activities in their life become secondary. Relationships, friendships become difficult to form. If a person is guilty of a crime, they’ll usually try to run or hide to avoid getting caught and go to jail. An innocent person will not run and put up a fight. There are specific child custody laws set in place to break and defeat those who battle this system.

Some aren’t aware of the oppression one must endure when drawn into a vicious child custody battle where domestic decisions are made by a faulty family court. In a malicious litigation, the amount of men who must spend large sums of money, have their reputations slandered, are assumed guilty and receive harsher punishments far out number the women. When the final decision of the hearings is to remove your child, whether it’s temporary or permanent, that event will traumatize any parent. This reality is just under your skin and you can find yourself often thinking or talking about it. Your mind will be like a computer that never shuts off with thoughts of what went wrong and memories of the child you lost, continuously being repeated. Now you’re on a heartbreaking rollercoaster ride with lots of bumps that seems to go on forever. Not giving up on your child remains the top priority.

Most people have little or no empathy for the dad who loses his child. This separation leads to depression, loneliness and grief. It produces abnormally high levels of stress and anxiety. So many men will seek to find relief from drugs, alcohol, or both as their health slowly deteriorates. This man has to invest thousands of dollars on legal fees. Friends and family alike will grow tired of hearing his miserable stories. There are no battered men’s shelters, no financial assistance of any kind and no government funded agencies to assist him. He is stereotyped as being the strong one and he should be able to withstand this sort of cruelty. To think because of their gender that a person has no feelings is inhumane.

Daddies see a court case of this nature to be like getting shot in the back and not being able to move. While you lay there bleeding, dying, mommy and the lawyers empty your pockets. The last recollection you’ll have is seeing your child walk away, out of your life. This story is not about what can happen; it’s about what will happen to you when you do not recognize the signs and take the necessary precautions to prevent losing your kid.

For the sake of children, men and women should be fully aware of whom they choose to have a family with. Joining for the wrong reason can breed an outcome that will be very damaging to the innocent. Once this happens and a separation occurs, it’s almost certain that one or both parents end up in court. In most cases it is here that their youngster will lose his or her right to establish a healthy relationship with one or both of those parents.

Custody battles can get ugly and be very expensive. This is a story of how a man battled against his ex-girlfriend for years and by adhering to the courts’ rulings, he enjoyed the privilege of being a dad to his daughter. Michael strived to be a good parent and taught his little girl all he could which included lessons in spelling, reading, math and science on her computer. Every weekend they’d have at least one outing and church on Sunday. Her mom continued to disobey the Judge and would be going to jail the next time they went to court so to prevent that, she had to run away. Returning from a job in Florida he finds out her mother made false allegations again and relocated out of state; an action both he and she were ordered not to do. Even though his case now went from being domestic to criminal, he remained steadfast in proving his innocence. In detail Anthony reveals the events that took place leading up to the loss of his only child. His two books tell how he worked to gather evidence and fought back against a vengeful parent whose only choice was to leave or go to jail. No one can imagine the pain from parental kidnapping unless they are forced to experience it. His story displays what kind of person is more likely to commit this devastating crime and can help to prevent a tragedy like this from happening to others. A parent will never be the same when the “other” parent abducts their child. “My reason for writing Poppa Too is an attempt to help others avoid having to go through and live with this kind of life changing ordeal”, Michael states.

PARENTAL ALIENATION SYNDROME (PAS)

This condition arises as a distinctive form of psychological injury to children in a high conflict separation or divorce of their parents.

It occurs when the child becomes aligned with one parent as a result of the unjustified and/or exaggerated denigration of the other parent.

This leads to an impaired relationship with the alienated (target) parent and an absolute loss of parenting as a result of the hostility of the parent producing the alienation.

In most cases of high conflict separation or divorce, there are degrees of alienation.

A noticeable effect is placing the child in a severe loyalty bind; a position wherein the child believes he or she must choose which parent they will “love” more.

To have to choose between parents is itself damaging to the child, and, if the end result is the exclusion of a parent from the child’s life, the injury is irreparable.

In severe cases, the child’s once love-bonded relationship with the target/rejected parent is destroyed.